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Season 1
101 - The One Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
102 - The One With The Sonogram At The End
103 - The One With The Thumb
104 - The One With George Stephanoloulos
105 - The One With The East German Laundry Detergent
106 - The One With The Butt
107 - The One With The Blackout
108 - The One Where Nana Dies Twice
109 - The One Where Underdog Gets Away
110 - The One With The Monkey
111 - The One With Mrs.Bing
112 - The One With The Dozen Lasagnes
113 - The One With The Boobies
114 - The One With The Candy Hearts
115 - The One With The Stoned Guy
116 - The One With Two Parts, Part 1
117 - The One With Two Parts, Part 2
118 - The One With All The Poker
119 - The One Where The Monkey Gets Away
120 - The One With The Evil Orthodontist
121 - The One With The Fake Monica
122 - The One With The Ick Factor
123 - The One With The Birth
124 - The One Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
201 - The One With Ross' New Girlfriend
202 - The One With The Breast Milk
203 - The One Where Heckles Dies
204 - The One With Phoebe's Husband
205 - The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
206 - The One With The Baby On The Bus
207 - The One Where Ross Finds Out
208 - The One With The List
209 - The One With Phoebe's Dad
210 - The One With Russ
211 - The One With The Lesbian Wedding
212 - The One After The Superbowl, Part 1
213 - The One After The Superbowl, Part 2
214 - The One With The Prom Video
215 - The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
216 - The One Where Joey Moves Out
217 - The One Where Eddie Moves In
218 - The One Where Dr.Remore Dies
219 - The One Where Eddie Won't Go
220 - The One Where Old Yeller Dies
221 - The One With The Two Bullies
222 - The One With The Two Parties
223 - The One With The Chickenpox
224 - The One With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
301 - The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy
302 - The One Where No-One's Ready
303 - The One With The Jam
304 - The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel
305 - The One With Frank Jnr
306 - The One With The Flashback
307 - The One With The Race Car Bed
308 - The One With The Giant Poking Device
309 - The One With The Football
310 - The One Where Rachel Quits
311 - The One Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
312 - The One With All The Jealousy
313 - The One Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
314 - The One With Phoebe`s Ex-Partner
315 - The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
316 - The One With The Morning After
317 - The One With The Ski Trip
318 - The One With The Hypnosis Tape
319 - The One With The Tiny T-Shirt
320 - The One With The Dollhouse
321 - The One With The Chick and the Duck
322 - The One With The Screamer
323 - The One With Ross's Thing
324 - The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
325 - The One At The Beach

Season 4
401 - The One With The Jelly Fish
402 - The One With The Cat
403 - The One With The `Cuffs
404 - The One With The Ballroom Dancing
405 - The One With Joey's New Girlfriend
406 - The One With The Dirty Girl
407 - The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line
408 - The One With Chandler In A Box
409 - The One Where They're Gonna Party!
410 - The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
411 - The One With Phoebe's Uterus
412 - The One With The Embryos
413 - The One With Rachel`s Crush
414 - The One With Joey`s Dirty Day
415 - The One With All The Rugby
416 - The One With The Fake Party
417 - The One With The Free Porn
418 - The One With Rachel`s New Dress
419 - The One With All The Haste
420 - The One With All The Wedding Dresses
421 - The One With The Invitation
422 - The One With The Worst Best Man Ever
423 - The One With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
501 - The One After Ross Said Rachel
502 - The One With All The Kissing
503 - The One Hundredth
504 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
505 - The One With All The Kips
506 - The One With The Yeti
507 - The One Where Ross Moves In
508 - The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
509 - The One With Ross's Sandwich
510 - The One With The Inappropriate Sister
511 - The One With All The Resolutions
512 - The One With Chandler's Work Laugh
513 - The One With Joey's Bag
514 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
515 - The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey
516 - The One With A Cop
517 - The One With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
518 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
519 - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt
520 - The One With The Ride Along
521 - The One With The Ball
522 - The One With Joey's Big Break
523 - The One In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
601 - The One After Vegas
602 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
603 - The One With Ross’s Denial
604 - The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
605 - The One With Joey’s Porsche
606 - The One With The Last Night
607 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
608 - The One With Ross’s Teeth
609 - The One Where Ross Got High
610 - The One With The Routine
611 - The One With The Apothecary Table
612 - The One With The Joke
613 - The One With Rachels Sister
614 - The One Where Chandler Can't Cry
615 - The One That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
617 - The One With The Unagi
618 - The One Where Ross Dates A Student
619 - The One With Joey’s Fridge
620 - The One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
621 - The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth’s Dad
622 - The One Where Paul’s The Man
623 - The One With The Ring
624 - The One With The Proposal(Season Finale)

Season 7
701 - The One With Monica’s Thunder
702 - The One With Rachel’s Book
703 - The One With Phoebe’s Cookies
704 - The One With Rachel’s Assistant
705 - The One With The Engagement Picture
706 - The One With The Nap Partners
707 - The One With Ross's Library Book
708 - The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
709 - The One With All The Candy
710 - The One With The Holiday Armadilio
711 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
712 - The One Where They're Up All Night
713 - The One Where Rosita Dies
714 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
715 - The One With Joey's New Brain
716 - The One With The Truth About London
717 - The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress
718 - The One With Joey's Award
719 - The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin
720 - The One With Rachel's Big Kiss
721 - The One With The Vows
722 - The One With Chandler's Dad
723 - The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding

Season 8
801 - The One After "I Do"
802 - The One With The Red Sweater
803 - The One Where Rachel Tells...
804 - The One With The Videotape
805 - The One With Rachel's Date
806 - The One With The Halloween Party
807 - The One With The Stain
808 - The One With The Stripper
809 - The One With The Rumor
810 - The One With Monica's Boots
811 - The One With Ross's Step Forward
812 - The One Where Joey Dates Rachel
813 - The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath
814 - The One With The Secret Closet
815 - The One With The Birthing Video
816 -The One Where Joey Tells Rachel
817 - The One With The Tea Leaves
818 - The One In Massapequa
819 - The One With Joey's Interview
820 - The One With The Baby Shower
821 - The One With The Cooking Class
822 - The One Where Rachel Is Late
823 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby

Season 9
901 - The One Where No One Proposes
902 - The One Where Emma Cries
903 - The One With the Pediatrician
904 - The One With The Sharks
905 - The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
906 - The One With The Male Nanny (200th Episode)
907 - The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song
908 - The One With Rachel's Other Sister
909 - The One With Rachel's Phone Number
910 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
911 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
912 - The One With Phoebe's Rats
913 - The One Where Monica Sings
914 - The One With The Blind Dates
915 - The One With The Mugging
916 - The One With The Boob Job
917 - The One With the Memorial Service
918 - The One With the Lottery
919 - The One With Rachel's Dream
920 - The One With the Soap Opera Party
921 - The One With The Fertility Test
922 - The One With The Donor
923 - The One In Barbados Parts 1 & 2

Season 10
1001 - The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss
1002 - The One Where Ross is Fine
1003 - The One Whit Ross' Tan
1004 - The One With The Cake
1005 - The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits
1006 - The One With Ross' Grant
1007 - The One With The Home Study
1008 - The One With The Late Thanksgiving
1009 - The One With The Birth Mother
1010 - The One Where Chandler Gets Caught
1011 - The One Where The Stripper Cries
1012 - The One With Phoebe's Wedding
1013 - The One Where Joey Speaks French
1014 - The One With Princess Consuela
1015 - The One Where Estelle Dies
1016 - The One With Rachel's Going Away Party
1017/1018 - The Last One

Site Meter

THE ONE WITH THE BLACKOUT
Originally written by Jeffery Astrof and Mike Sikowitz.
Transcribed by James Burrows


[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are there.
Phoebe is about to sing and Rachel is about to introduce her.]

RACHEL: Everybody. Shh, shhh. Err, Central Perk is proud to present
the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.

[All cheer and applaud]

ROSS: [Just off camera] Alright!!!!

PHOEBE: Thanks. Hi, erm I want to start with a song that`s about that
moment when you suddenly realise. . . . what life is really
all about. OK, here we go.

[Phoebe is all ready to start to sing. She strums the guitar.and then
the power goes off.]

PHOEBE: OK thank you very much.

[Scene: Cuts to Chandler in an ATM vestibule. He starts to walk towards
the door to leave, and the power goes off, the lights go out, then
flicker back on.]

CHANDLER: What?

[He grabs the door handle and shakes it, the doors are locked]

CHANDLER: Oh great ! This is just.

[ He turns and sees that he locked in the ATM vestibule with a
beautiful woman ( the famed Victoria`s Secret model Jill Goodacre).
He turns back and makes a GREAT gesture with his arms and hands.]

CHANDLER: [mouths to himself quietly] ..GREAT!!!!!


OPENING TITLES


[SCENE:Monica and Rachels appartment, Ross, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe
are there. Rachel is looking out of the window.]

RACHEL: Wow, this is so cool you guys, the entire city is blacked out.

[Monica is on the phone to her Mom]

MONICA: Mom says it`s all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens
and they have no idea when it`s coming back on.

RACHEL: Wow, you guys this is big.

MONICA: Pants and a sweater, why Mom, . . . . who am I going to meet
in a blackout, power company guys, eligable looters, . . . can
we talk about this later? Ok.

[Monica puts the phone down]

PHOEBE: Can I borrow the phone, I want to call my apartment and check
on my Grandma.. Wait what`s my number? W well I never call me!

[SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule]

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. Thinking to himself ) Oh my God, it`s her,
it`s that Victoria`s Secret model.. something, something
Goodacre.....

[Jill is on her mobile phone]

JILL: Hi Mom, it`s Jill.

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) She`s right it`s Jill, Jill Goodacre. Oh my
God I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre, is
it a vestibule? Maybe it`s an atrium, oh yeah, that is the
part to focus on you idiot!

JILL: Yeah I`m fine, I`m just stuck at the bank, at an ATM vestibule.

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Jill says vestibule, I`m going with vestibule.

JILL: I`m fine, no I`m not alone, I dunno know some guy.

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Oh, some guy.I`m some guy. Hey Jill I saw
you with some guy last night, yes he was SOME guy. ( As he is
saying this to himself, he starts to walk towards Jill,
smiling. Jill gives him a strange look, and he turns back
and pretends to dance)

[SCENE: Cuts back to Monica and Rachels apartment, Joey enters carrying
a lit menorah, he starts to walk across the room, and the others give
him strange looks.]

JOEY: Hi everyone.

ROSS: And effciating at tonights blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.

[Joey places the menorah by the television]

JOEY: Well, Chandler`s old room mate was Jewish and these are the only
candles we have so, Happy Hanukkah everyone!

PHOEBE: Eww look, ugly naked guy lit a bunch of candles.

[All go over to the window]

ALL: Ewwww

ALL:Oooooo

RACHEL: Ooo Ooo. That had to hurt.

[SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule, he is looking at
his watch.]

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Alright, alright, alright it`s been fourteen
and a half minutes and you still have not said one word, oh
God do something, just make contact, smile ( Chandler smiles.
Jill turns to see him smiling, she smiles back, Chandler
carries on smiling.)

CHANDLER: There ya go. ( Chandler continues to smile, Jill looks worried
.. Chandler stops smiling.) You`re definitely scaring her.

JILL: Er, would you like to call somebody?

CHANDLER: (Voice over. ) Yeah, `bout three hundred guys I went to high
school with. ( Now speaking to Jill) Yeah, thanks.
( Chandler takes the phone from Jill. )

[Chandler dials Monica`s number on the phone.]

[SCENE: Cuts to Monica`s apartment, the phone is ringing and Monica
answers.]

MONICA: Hello.

CHANDLER: Hey it`s me.

MONICA: ( To the others in the apartment. ) It`s Chandler.

PHOEBE: ( Quietly in the background. ) Oh.

MONICA: Are you ok?

CHANDLER: Yeah, I`m fine. . . . . ( In a muffled voice. ) I`m trapped
in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.

MONICA: What?

CHANDLER: ( Still muffled. ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill
Good-acre!

MONICA: I have no idea what you just said.

CHANDLER: ( Normal Voice. ) Put Joey on the phone!!!

[Monica hands the phone to Joey.]

JOEY: What`s up man?

CHANDLER: ( Muffled ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill
( Extremely Muffled.) WOODACREAAH!!!!!!!!

JOEY: ( Very excited, in disbelief.) Oh my God . . . . ( Joey points
rapidly at the phone.) he`s trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill
Goodacre. Chandler listen, listen ( Now Joey speaks in a muffled
voice.) Hurm hur hur hurm hur hur ahur hur. ( Totally
unrecognisable. )

CHANDLER: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.

[SCENE: Back at Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there ( except
Chandler ) sitting on the couches.

RACHEL: Ok ok, somebody somebody.

PHOEBE: Come on.

JOEY: Go.

MONICA: Alright, I`ll go I`ll go

JOEY:Ok.

MONICA: Ok erm, senior year of college. . . . on a pool table!

JOEY: Whoo hoo hoooo!!

RACHEL: A pool table?

PHOEBE: Whoa!

ROSS: That`s my sister.

JOEY: Ok, Ok my weirdest place would have to beeee. . . the womens
room on the second floor of the New York city public library.

MONICA: Oh my God, what were you doing in a library?

[Rachel laughs]

ROSS: Hey Phebes, what about you?

PHOEBE: Oh erm. . . . Milwauke.

[Everyone gives Phoebe a strange look]

RACHEL: Er Rossss?

ROSS: ( Intake of breath and clears his throat. ) Er, Disneyland,
( Rachel gasps. )1989, it`s a small world after all. . . .

MONICA: ( Laughs)

PHOEBE: No way!

JOEY: No waaay!

ROSS: Yeah, the er, ride broke down, er so Carol and I went behind a
couple of those mechanical Dutch children, and they, they fixed
the ride and we were asked never to return to the magic kingdom!

PHOEBE: Ooo Rachel!

RACHEL: Oh come on, I already went.

JOEY: No no no.

MONICA: You did not go, come on.

RACHEL: Yes I did!

JOEY: Come on.

MONICA: Come on, tell us.

RACHEL: Come on.

JOEY: Come on.

RACHEL: Alright, errrr the weirdest place. . . . would have to beeee. .
. . oh . . . the foot of the bed.

ROSS: Step back!

JOEY: We have a winner!

[SCENE: Time lapse.Ross and Rachel are talking. Joey is sitting on the
chair, while Monica and Phoebe are out on the balcony.]

RACHEL: Huh, I`ve just never. . . had a relationship with that kind
of passion, you know, where, where you have to have somebody
right there in the middle of a theme park.

ROSS: Well it was the only thing to do there, that didn`t have a line.

RACHEL: Alright well, see, I mean, Barry wouldn`t even kiss me on a
minature golf course.

ROSS: Come on.

RACHEL: No..he said we were holding up the people behind us. ( Rachel
sighs )

ROSS: And you didn`t marry him be-cause?

RACHEL: I mean d`you think. there are people that go through life never
having that kind of.

ROSS: Probably.

RACHEL: Really?

ROSS: But, but, you know I`ll tell you something, passion is way over
rated.

RACHEL: Yeah, right!

ROSS: It is, er eventually it kinds of burns out, but hopefully what
you are left with is trust and security and er, well in the case
of my ex-wife. . . . .lesbianism! So you know for all those
people who miss out on that er, passion thing, there`s all that
other good stuff.

RACHEL: ( Sighs ) Ok.

ROSS: But er, I don`t think that`s gonna be you. . . .

RACHEL: You don`t ?

ROSS: Umm, see I see, er, big. . . . . . passion in your future.

RACHEL: Really?

ROSS: Umm

RACHEL: Ya do?

ROSS: I do.

RACHEL: Oh Ross, your so great, nuh.

( Rachel gets up and ruffles Ross`s hair and then walks off. Ross now
looks very pleased with himself. He gets up and starts to walk passed
Joey.)

JOEY: It`s never gonna happen.

ROSS: What?

JOEY: You and Rachel!

ROSS: Wha.Huh Hea. . . whadda..me, un, ra..wadda..uhtur. . . .why not?

JOEY: Be-cause you waited too long tomake your move, and now your in
the friend zone!

ROSS: No no no, I am not the zone

JOEY: No, Ross your mayor of the zone!

ROSS: Look I`m takin` my time, alright, I`m, I`m, I`m laying the ground
work, yeah, I mean every day I get just a little bit closer to..

JOEY: Priesthood!!!! Look Ross, I`m tellin` ya she has no idea what
your thinkin` and if you don`t ask her out soon, you`re gonna
end up stuck in the zone..forever!

ROSS: I will, I will, I`m just, see I`m just waiting for the, er,
right moment. (Joey looks at Ross, in disbelief.) What. what now?

JOEY: Yeaaahhh!!! What`s messing you up, the wine, the candles, the
moonlight, huh you just got to go up to her and you gotta say
look Rachel, I think th.

[Rachel returns from the bathroom]

ROSS: Shhhhh

JOEY & ROSS: Shhhhh shhh shhhhh

RACHEL: What are we Shushing?

ROSS: We`re shushing, because we`re, we`re trying to, to hear ( quietly )
something.

RACHEL: What?

JOEY: Erm, shush.

RACHEL: What?

ROSS: Duh don`t you hear that?

RACHEL: Ahhhhhhohhh.

ROSS: See?

RACHEL:Ur huh ( Rachel looks blank. )

[SCENE: Cuts back to chandler at the bank.]

JILL: Would you like some gum?

CHANDLER: Oh is it sugarless?

JILL: Oh sorry it`s not.

CHANDLER: Oh,then no thanks. ( Voice over. ) What the hell was that,
mental note if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it, if
she offers you mangled animal carcass you take it!

[SCENE: Time lapse. Cuts back to Monica and Rachels apartment, Phoebe
is singing.]

PHOEBE: # New york city has no power and the milk is getting sour, but
to me it is not scary, `cause I stay away from dairy, . . . .
a la la la la la la la la la la la. #

[Monica comes in from the balcony to her bedroom.]

ROSS: Ok, here goes.

JOEY: You gonna do it?

ROSS: I`m gonna do it.

JOEY: You want me to help?

ROSS: You come out there, your a dead man!

JOEY: Ross, Ross, good luck man.

ROSS: Thanks! ( Joey shakes Ross`s hand and then hugs him. ) Ok?

JOEY: Ok.

JOEY & ROSS: Ok.

[Ross goes out on to the balcony, to where Rachel is. Joey goes over
to sit by the window. Monica comes out of her bedroom wearing a coat.]

JOEY: Hey, where`re you going?

MONICA: Outside.

JOEY: No no, you can`t go out there.

MONICA: Why not?

JOEY: Because of er, the, reason.

MONICA: And that would be?

JOEY: I, er, I can`t tell ya.

MONICA: Joey, what`s goin` on?

JOEY: Ok, listen, you gotta promise you`ll never ever tell Ross that I
told you.

MONICA: About what?

JOEY: He`s planning your birthday party.

MONICA: Oh my God, I love him.

JOEY: And you better act surprised!

PHOEBE: ( Over hearing. ) About what?

MONICA: My surprise party!

PHOEBE: What surprise party?

MONICA: Ohh stop it! Joey already told me.

PHOEBE: Well he didn`t tell me!

JOEY: Hey, don`t look at me, this is Ross`s thing.

PHOEBE: This is so typical, I`m always the last one to know everything!

MONICA: Oh, you are not, we tell you stuff.

PHOEBE: Ya hur! I was the last one to know. When Chandler got bit by
the peacock at the zoo, I was the last to know, when you had a
crush on Joey when he was moving in!

[Monica stares at Phoebe and waves frantically behind Joey.]

JOEY: What??

PHOEBE: Ohh Ohh, looks like I was the second to last.

[Joey starts to laugh, Monica takes off her coat.]

[SCENE: Cuts to Ross and Rachel on the balcony.]

ROSS: (sighs)

RACHEL: Erm, so nice.

ROSS: Um,hey,I have a question, well er, actually it`s not so much a
question as more of a general wondering....ment.

RACHEL: Ok.

ROSS: Ok, huh, here goes.Um, well for a while now, I`ve been wanning
to um....

RACHEL: Ohhhhh.

ROSS: Yes, yes, that`s, that`s right.

[Rachel notices a cat on a ledge behind Ross]

RACHEL: Ohhh look at that little girl ohhh.

ROSS: What?

[The cat jumps from the ledge on to Ross`s shoulder]

ROSS: Ohhhhhaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

[SCENE: Cuts back to inside the apartment, where Phoebe is leading
Joey and Monica in a rendition of "Top of the World"]

JOEY, PHOEBE & MONICA: # Top of the world, lookin`, down on creation,
and the only explanation I can find, is the love I`ve found, ever
since you`ve been around ( While they are singing, fur is flying
out on the balcony, Ross is trying to lose the cat, by jumping up
the down in a frantic panic!!!!)

[SCENE: Time lapse. Everyone is stood round the kitchen table and Ross
is receiving medical attention from Monica. Chandler is still at the
bank.

MONICA: Right, this is just Bactine, it won`t hurt.

[Joey, who is leaning over Ross with a candle, accidently lets a drip
of wax fall on to Ross`s neck.]

ROSS: Ou! Ou!

JOEY: Ooo, sorry that was wax.

PHOEBE: Ooh, this poor little tuti is scared to death! We should find
his owner.

ROSS: Why don`t we just put the poor little TUTI out in the hall?

RACHEL: During a blackout? She`ll get trampled!

ROSS: Yeahh?

[SCENE: Back at the bank.]

CHANDLER: You know on second thoughts gum would be perfection! ( Takes
a stick of gum from Jill. Chandler hardly believing what he
just said goes into voice over mode. ) Gum would be perfection,
GUM would be perfection, coulda said gum would be nice,
could of said I`ll have a stick, but no no no no for me, GUM
is PERFECTION!…….. I loathe my-self. ( At this point Chandler
goes over to a counter and covers his head in shame. )

[SCENE: Cuts back to Rachel and Phoebe searching out in the halls of
their building, knocking on various doors. )

RACHEL: ( About to knock on a door ) Oh, no the Melons, they hate all
living things!

PHOEBE: Oh.

[They move on to the next door, and knock. A strange man answers. )

RACHEL: Hi, we just found this cat, and we er, looking for the owner.

MAN: Umm yeah, It`s er, It`s mine.

PHOEBE: Well, he seems to hate you, are you sure?

MAN: Yeah, It`s my cat, give me my cat.

PHOEBE: Well, er, wait a minute, what`s his name?

MAN: Er, Ba Buttons.

RACHEL: Bob buttons?

MAN: Ah huh, Bob Buttons, here Bob Buttons.

PHOEBE: ( The cat jumps out of Phoebe`s arms, and disappears down the
hall. ) Ooo, ..ahh, you are a very BAD man!

RACHEL: Cah.

[Rachel and Phoebe walk off to try and catch the cat.]

MAN: ( Leaning out of his door. ) You owe me a cat! ( He shuts his door. )

[SCENE: Cuts to Rachel on her own in the dark hallway, with only one
candle, searching for the cat.]

RACHEL: Here kitty kitty kitty, here kitty kitty, where`d ya go little
kitty kitty kitty. ( Rachel tries calling the cat by making a
kind of kissing sound. ) Kitty, kitty, kitty, come `ere kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.. kitty ( Rachel comes
across a pair of legs in the dark, she moves slowly upwards. )
kitty..hi? ( Rachel is now face to face with a man in the
corridor. )

MAN 2: Bwensa sear.

RACHEL: Oh wow! ( She blows out her candle, with her sigh. )

[SCENE: Cuts back to the apartment, where Ross, Monica and Joey are
playing monopoly.]

ROSS: Come on, lucky sixes!

[Rachel enters the apartment with the man she met in the hallway by
her side.]

RACHEL: Everybody, this is Paolo. ( Ross is stunned. ) Paolo I want you
to meet my friends, this is Monica ( They walk over to where
they are playing. )

MONICA: ( Shaking Paolo by his hand. ) Hi.

RACHEL: And Joey. ( They shake hands. )

MONICA: Hi. ( Trying to get Paolo`s attention. )

JOEY: ( Quietly ) Alright?

RACHEL: And, and Ross.

MONICA: Hi. ( Still trying to get Paolo`s attention. )

PAOLO: ( He speaks Italian. ) Regat se son a pina viv vanta to be pino
so va vinchi so ramon tu pase tu.

RACHEL: Hur, hur hur, he doesn`t speak much English. ( Rachel is
rubbing her hands up and down his arm. )

[Paolo looks down at the table.]

PAOLO: Mon Op Poleeeee!!

RACHEL: Ohhhh, look at that.
ROSS: ( Ross tuts. ) So, er, where did er, Paolo come from ..

RACHEL: Oh, ..Italy, I think? Hur hur hur.

ROSS: No, I mean, tonight in the building, suddenly into our lives?

RACHEL: Well, the that cat, the ca cat, turned out to be Paolo`s cat,
Int that funny. I think it`s his cat.

ROSS: Oh hur, that that, is funny and Rachel keeps touching him.

[Rachel rubs Paolo arms some more. Phoebe enters the apartment. ]

PHOEBE: Alright, I looked all over the building and I couldn`t find
the kitty anywhere.

RACHEL: Oh I found him. It was Paolo`s cat.

PHOEBE: Ahh, well, there ya go, last to know again, and I`m guessing
since no body told me this is Paolo.

RACHEL: Oh Paolo, this is Phoebe.

PAOLO: Oh.

PHOEBE: Hi.

PAOLO: Phoebe an ca tu belissimo ser setta tuti caus a wella mitros
veri at la proc -crete.

PHOEBE: You bet ya!

[SCENE: Cuts back to the bank. Chandler is try to think of something to
do to impress Jill.]

CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) What next?.I know, blow a bubble, a bubbles
good, it`s got a boyish charm, it`s impish! ( He goes to blow
a bubble. )here we go. ( But he ends up spitting the gum on
to the counter. ) Nice goin` IMP. Ok, ok It`s, It`s ok, all I
need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth,
( Chandler reaches over the counter, to retrieve the gum, but
in order not to attract Jill`s attention to what he is doing,
he doesn`t look at what his hand is doing. He picks up some
gum off the counter, and puts it discreetly in to his mouth. )
Good save! We`re back on track and I`m.... [ He chews the gum
a bit.] chewing some elses gum!!!!!! This is not my gum! OH MY
GOD! OH MY GOD! .....and now your choking! Caac. ( Chandler
starts to choke. ) Caac.

JILL: Are you alright?

[Chandler makes a OK gesture with his hands and smiles, while choking.]

JILL: Oh my God, your choking. ( Jill gets up quickly and goes over to
Chandler. She then performs the Hiemlich manoeuvre and the gum
shoots out of his mouth. )

CHANDLER: Err...Hurr.

JILL: Better?

CHANDLER: Eh hur, yes, ( Chandler clears his throat .) Thank you, that
was, that was....

JILL: Perfection?

CHANDLER: Tayeah!

[SCENE: Cuts back to the apartment. Paolo is talking to Rachel in
Italian, while looking out of the window and pointing to the night
sky. )

PAOLO: Guarda da lunar, guarda da stelle, gua tu tal cause a belle.

[Cuts back to Ross with Joey in the kitchen watching Paolo and Rachel
with disgust. )

ROSS: Blur blur blur blur blurrrrr, blur blur blur blur, blur blur
blur blur, blur blur lur lur lur lurrrrrrrrrrr.

[Paolo and Rachel finish talking by the window and Rachel makes her
way over to the kitchen area.]

RACHEL: Hur hur hur hur. Er Ohhhhh.

ROSS: Hey, what did he say that was so funny?

RACHEL: I have absolutely no idea.

ROSS: That`s, that`s classic!

RACHEL: Oh my God, you guys, whata my doin` whata my doin` this is so
un-meeeeee?

MONICA: If you want, I`ll do it.

PHOEBE: Oh I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip, ( Monica and
Rachel both look at Phoebe. )

RACHEL: Cah.

PHOEBE: But I won`t.

RACHEL: God, the first time he smiled, at me, those three seconds were
more exciting than three weeks in Burmuda with Barry.

PHOEBE: Ya know, did you rent mopeds..because I`ve heard.. ( Monica
and Rachel give Phoebe a very strange look. ) Oh It`s not
about that right now, ok.

RACHEL: Oh, God, you know, I know It`s totally superfical, and we have
nothing in common, and we don`t even speak the same language,
but Gohohohodddddd.

[Ross upset after listening to what Rachel had to say, decides to go
and confront Paolo. He walks over to where Paolo is standing.]

ROSS: Paolo, hi.

PAOLO: RRRRRROSS.

ROSS: Listen, er,listen er, something you should er, should know, er,
Rachel and I are, we`re kind of a, kind of a thing.

PAOLO: Thing?

ROSS: Thing, yes, thing.

PAOLO: You `ave de sex.

ROSS: No, no, no, um, technically, er, the the , sex is not being had,
but that`s er, see but that`s not the point see um, the point is
that er, well Rachel and I should be er, well, Rachel and I
should be together, ya know and if you get in the er.

PAOLO: In bed?

ROSS: No, ha, no, not where I was going, er, if you get in the way..
way of us becoming a thing, then er, I would be well very sad,
um ( Ross rubs his eyes. )

PAOLO: Oh.oh.

ROSS: So do you , um, sa vech ay?

PAOLO: See see.

ROSS: See.. see. ( Mouths ) great. So, you, er, you do know a little
English?

PAOLO: Talk, little.

ROSS: Yeah, do ya, er, um, do you know the word crap-weasel? ( Paolo
looks blank. ) eh, no. er that`s funny, cos you are a huge
crap-weasel.

[Ross hugs Paolo and slaps him on his back. Paolo smiles.]

PAOLO: Grat-si

[SCENE: Back to the bank, Chandler and Jill are sitting on the floor,
facing each other, playing a game with the banks, pens on a chain.]

JILL: Chandler, we`ve been here for an hour doing this, now watch,
It`s easy.

CHANDLER: Ok.

JILL: Ready?

CHANDLER: Er, hum!

JILL: ( She spins the pen round her head. ) Ok, now try it.

[Chandler spins the pen patheticly and it hits him in the face.]

JILL: No, you gotta whip it.

[Chandler whips the pen round on it`s chain, and flies almost out of
control. Chandler and Jill both duck and laugh.]

[SCENE: Back at the apartment, we get a close up of a candle, which is
almost burnt out. All are gathered round the table in the lounge.]

PHOEBE: Oh look, look, look, the last candle is about to burn out.
Ten.nine.eight.seven. ( Time lapse. ) minus forty six, minus
forty seven, minus forty eight..

[Joey blows out the candle.]

ROSS: Thank you!

MONICA: Thanks!

[It is now pitch black.]

ROSS: It`s kinda spooky without any lights hur. Whoa ar ar ar ar ar
arrrr!

RACHEL: Whoa ha ha ha ha ha harrrrrr!

MONICA: Whoa ar ar ar.

JOEY: Whoa ar ar ar ar ar.

ROSS: Ok guys, guy I have the definative one. WHOA HA HAR ( The lights
come back on, and Ross can now see, Rachel and Paolo kissing.
Ross looks upset. ) ah.. ar..arrrrrrr. ( Monica sees what Rachel
is doing and gasps. )

JOEY: Er, Ross, this probably isn`t the best time to bring it up, but
you have to throw a party for Monica.

END CREDITS

[SCENE: Back at the bank. The power is back on. ]

JILL: Well, this has bin fun.

CHANDLER: Yes! Yes! Thanks for er, letting me use your phone er, and
for saving my life.

JILL: Well, goodbye, Chandler, I had a great blackout. ( She kisses
Chandler. ) See ya!

[Chandler watches Jill leave and goes to the glass doors and presses
his face and hands up against the glass in awe. He runs his fingers
down the glass.]

CHANDLER: ( Turning round to the security camera up in the corner of
the room, by the ceiling. ) Hi, erm, I`m account number
7143457 and er, I don`t know if you got any of that, but I
would really like a copy of the tape.

                                                             
END

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